Happy in Marriage

Ryan's Grandparents
on their wedding day

My sister Brandy & her
husband Steve

By far the happiest aspect of my life is my marriage with Ryan. We fell in love almost a decade ago and haven’t stopped laughing since. Ryan and I met through the high school band. Actually, we didn’t really meet per say - believe it or not, we kissed before we even spoke to one another. Our names were entered into a kissing contest, and although we didn’t win, it was a memorable first kiss J ! Our first conversation was at the movies a few months later when I was 15 and Ryan was 16. A group of us were going to see Star Wars, how romantic right? Ryan claims he loved me from the start and even remembers what I was wearing that day. 



Ryan's brother Russ &
his wife Laurel

After the movies, we began spending more time together, and were soon the best of friends. Ryan wanted to date pretty quickly, but I was stubborn and wanted to remain friends. About a year later, (yes a year of being best friends, what a guy right?) I finally realized I was in love with Ryan and we went on our first official date on May 11, 2001. We dated for 5 years, and again kissed in front of a crowd, but this time it wasn’t a contest, it was our wedding day and we definitely won.





 When I first wrote this blog, I wrote what I think makes our marriage happy, but as I thought about it a bit longer, I decided that while we are definitely happily married, we have only been married for 4 years and that’s not much time in the game of life. Ryan’s grandparents will be married 60 years in April and are still very much in love. They hold hands, look at each other admiringly, and 

My mom & her
husband Gary

are contagiously happy. Ryan and I have always admired their marriage and use it as a model for ours. I asked them what makes a happy marriage and here’s what they had to say (these are direct quotes):

1 Mutual respect-- Important since you must have concern for the other’s feelings and their needs.

2 Sense of humor --There are some situations where the only solution is to laugh at the problem. Most of the time it does the trick.

3 Mutual trust-- without this there would be almost constant friction due to the fact that you could not believe in the other person's veracity thus causing perpetual tension.

Ryan's Parents

4 God centered life--Sometimes only prayer will help you to solve a difficulty. Furthermore the church provides meaning to your life and makes you realize your blessings in each other.

5 Intelligence-- You  must be able to think things through rationally and have the mental capacity to solve problems in order to make the marriage run smoothly.

6 Physical attraction--YEAH!

7 Tolerance--When two people live under the same roof, there are bound to be some areas of friction. You cannot eliminate them all so unless they are completely intolerable- live and let live. 

I dedicate this blog to my husband Ryan for our happy marriage, to the many happily married couples in my life, and most of all to Mema and Papa for showing me what marriage is all about.